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"As You Turn to Walk Away..."

eremon_lass, I have written you silly Kay/Bedi! Happy belated birthday! :)

sometimes he even wins at chess firstCollapse )

"Ate My Heart and then He Ate My Brain..."

So we watched the Seventh Seal to-day for religion/history class, and I live-Tweeted it, because I am boring and enchanted by modern technology. I also thought I was kind of funny, so I have reproduced it here. >_>

Warnings for: Rape, immaturity.


--Watching "The Seventh Seal". Lotta dies irae happening up in here.

--Dear Mr. Bergman: Horses prolly don't actually drink sea water.

--THERE IS SO MUCH SYMBOLISM HAPPENING.

--OHO. DEATH GOT THE BLACK CHESS PIECE.

--...yeah, I'm going to livetweet this, don't judge me. It makes it more bearable.

--...and then random dirty ballads.

It just gets more sophisticated from hereCollapse )

"I Would Gladly Stay an Afterthought..."

This summer, as I'm pretty sure I wrote, my advisor's son was killed by a drunk driver. I wrote him a card at the time to tell him how sorry I was; I didn't really know what to say (what do you say to a parent who's just lost his child?), but I had been working with a lot of people at the time who had lost children, and I wanted to say something.

He didn't say anything about it when I got back to school, so I really just assumed that he didn't want to -- I know when people comment on my really emotional posts I rarely know what to say, and usually end up not answering, but always being glad on the comfort that people offer, so I figured it was like that. He's mentioned his son once or twice in class, and I always feel sad, but certainly don't say anything.

Anyway, to-day I checked my mail for about the first time in a month, and there was a note from him thanking me. And he included a picture of the beach where they scattered his son's ashes. And I just stood there in the post office and cried, because -- I can't imagine. I can't imagine how big and terrible it would be. Scattering my grandparents' ashes was, in a way, easy to do, because they both lived long, full lives and I had plenty of time to make peace with their deaths. But to lose your oldest child right after he'd graduated from college, when you hadn't seen him in a year, and to have to give him back to the earth -- I just can't even begin to quantify how much grief you might feel. I just can't.

This kind of thing makes everything, especially me, feel really small. I wish I could do so much more to make things better, but my own power is so limited. In a way it makes me know that hospice is the right place for me, and in a way I feel bad even saying that because this isn't about me at all.

I guess what I wanted to say here was how moved I am that he took the time to write me a note and share the picture with me, which he didn't have to do at all, and I'm just so sorry.
oh hey look A FERRARI no wait it's more poetry.

AutumnalCollapse )

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DoggedCollapse )

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Have I mentioned lately that this poetry study is the best thing that ever happened to me?

"I Know I Don't Really Belong..."

SO to-day I read the apocryphal Biblical text of Joseph and Asenath and you should too because it is awesome and hilarious. And Asenath's cleansing ritual involves being COVERED IN BEEEEEEES, because God is a troll.

It's days like this that I'm really happy to be a religion major.

"No Alarms, and No Surprises..."

The psychiatrist messed up my prescription again, which means I am once more living on the pharmacy's charity while I wait for her to be back in her office again. This is one of the most intensely frustrating recurring experiences of my life, because it is so hard for me to get to the pharmacy in the first place, and then having everything be wrong when I get there is hard, and trying to work out what the actual problem is--

She sent in my old prescription, not my new one, so they filled the prescription I was getting in the middle, which will... give me enough medicine for a week, after which I will have to go and pay ALL OVER AGAIN to get my new prescription filled, so I'll be paying for the same scrip twice, in essence, and there's nothing I can do about that because the insurance company will no longer pay for my old prescription and the pharmacy isn't authorised to front me this medicine -- unlike my migraine med, which they did front me, because I forgot to check my scrip and so didn't notice that I had no refills left, so that at least was entirely my fault. That doesn't make me mad, because it was me being careless that made it happen. But when it's the psychiatrist's fault, I just get so upset because she should know how important it is that I actually take my medicine on time and such.

The last time this happened, she sent my prescription in to a pharmacy I don't even use, and when I called her panicking because my pharmacy didn't have my scrip she said it must be my fault and i was doing something wrong.

I just. She is the only person at the school's health and wellness programme who has ever failed me so consistently and seriously, and she's one of the few people I will be glad never to see again when I graduate. Eugh.

ANYWAY. No more complaining. Remember that my fundraiser for raanve is still going on! Share with your friends!
Important Notice

Okay, guys. I know it's mid-October and like reasonable people we are all spending our money on comfort food. But here is the deal.

raanve is super goddamn awesome. And right now she is trying to get her degree in composition and rhetoric while working a pretty full-time job. Only right now she and her husband are kind of tight financially, such that he is taking another job, and she wants to, but does not have time. Now she is really close to graduating -- in fact, in March, is everything goes well -- and she basically deserves this more than anything, and the first time around she was unable to finish getting her degree, so it would be totally horrible if she got tripped up this time when she is SO CLOSE. Because here's the thing: she loves teaching. And I love listening to her talk about teaching, because it really seems to make her so happy, and it just seems utterly wrong that she might have to stop teaching because her funds gave out MONTHS before she got her degree.

So I am fundraising, goddammit.

It is as it was last time, five-hundred words for every five dollars you donate. I will write you Les Mis, Arthurian legend, Westmark trilogy, Shakespeare, C.J. Cherryh (badly tho), fairy tales, Bible fanfic, Star Trek, Firefly, Greek Myth, and Sherlock. I am also totally capable of edjumacating myself if there are other fandoms in which you are interested.

AS A BONUS, I will also offer art! For fifteen dollars or more you can have the animal of your choice created for you out of paper collage. And in case you're wondering, I am really really good at paper collage. I'm not even kidding. I can offer samples of my work if necessary, but let's just say I was selling these damn things for forty-five dollars apiece for a while, in a local gallery. So this is awesome and you definitely want it. Christmas is coming up! I will even frame the bastards.

So yeah. Donate money, it will store up treasures for you in heaven. Also, Jess is amazing and you want to make her life better.








PLEASE FEEL FREE TO REDISTRIBUTE THIS LINK OMG.

"Buy Her Wheels and Shimmering Things..."

And, in continuation with my plans to become the most boring person alive: more poetry. Poetry very much influenced by sockefeller's comics, no less. (Seriously, though, you should read her comics, they're creepy as hell and pretty much awesome.)

PhysiologyCollapse )

~~~

More boring, however, than poetry is the fact that I now have a twitter account. So if you are interested in following the fairly inane stream of thoughts that I have on a daily basis, there's that.

"Now I Battle What I Most Adore..."

Blah blah blah poetry blee.

CamilleCollapse )

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